It's That Time of the Year

Thanksgiving has never been all that much fun to me. I've never been one to enjoy cooking a big meal, making a big mess, and then having to clean it all up. It's just not worth it to me.

But, oh, how Carla loved Thanksgiving! She was in her element on this special day. I could never convince her to just have turkey sandwiches and buy pies and snack on Chex mix so that we could enjoy the day without having a big, huge mess to clean up. No, she would have none of that! She insisted on the traditional spread of turkey, homemade stuffing, broccoli casserole, pecan pie, and the list goes on and on.

She LOVED having a house full of people--the more the merrier in her mind. She reveled in the chaos, I think. Again, not my cup of tea. So we always went to Carla's for Thanksgiving, and I was ALWAYS thankful that we had gone.

I miss Carla so much on Thanksgiving. But I am thankful for the years we spent together on Thanksgiving. And it's nice to think about her with such warm memories.

And then there's Dad's birthday on November 25th. Sometimes Dad's birthday would fall on Thanksgiving. He also loved Thanksgiving. Mom always cooked a big meal on Thanksgiving, too.

And then there's Carla's birthday on December 1st.

And then there's Christmas. Dad always LOVED Christmas. This was his favorite time of year. He spent so much time putting up lights and making yard ornaments like large wooden candy canes, which now decorate my own yard. Growing up, our house was always decked out for Christmas with cheezy decorations.

I have some of those cheezy decorations now, and they are treasures to me. I didn't realize how much they actually meant to me until today when Gene broke the red plastic bells that had hung in our window as far back as I can remember. I know he felt bad. I know it was an accident. And they are only things. But my heart sank when he showed me the shattered plastic pieces. I actually had to fight back the tears. Silly, I know . . . but still, it was hard to accept that they were broken.

As much as Dad loved Christmas, it is almost fitting that he died on Christmas day. But it forever altered my feelings about Christmas. I remember the Christmas songs playing in the hospital as my sisters and brother, and I were eating lunch in the cafeteria or sleeping in the lobby. I remember thinking that the music seemed out of place. Didn't the music picker realize that the greatest man in the world was dying? Why was he (or she) playing those Christmas songs at this sad time? It was several years before I could listen to Christmas music after he died.

Yesterday, Gene and I were at Target, and we were looking for stocking stuffers in the dollar section at the front of the store. There was a bin of Jiffy Pop at the bottom. A wave of emotion took me by surprise at the sight of it. I sucked in a breath and broke out crying right there in the front of the Target store! Gene didn't know what the heck was wrong. I couldn't even speak. I wanted to tell him that "Dad hated Jiffy Pop!" but the words wouldn't come.

As the years have passed, I've been able to come to terms with Dad's and Carla's deaths. I know I'll see them again in heaven one day.

In the meantime, I'll just hold their memories close--especially at this time of year. And I'll be thankful for the people I love who are still here, like my mom, my brothers and sister, and my kids and granddaughters, and son-in-law, and wonderful friends. And, my husband, who has put up with my tears and moods, and who just lets me cry as he holds me until the moment passes.


I am blessed.

TGIF - Ah, Laughter!

This morning I woke up in a not-so-good mood. Not a bad mood, really, just not good. After another night of little sleep (which my doctor assures me will improve by taking a Benadryl every night--what???), I just didn't want to get up and start work (even though my job is just downstairs, and I can wear pajamas if I want to).

So, sitting down at my computer, I still couldn't bring myself to start working. I did my daily check of family and friends' blogs before settling in for work. Somehow I ended up at the blog of someone I don't even know and found this HILARIOUS story. It caught my eye because it starts out with "I don't like Halloween." I literally laughed out loud for a long time (Gene was taking the girls to school and I was all by myself). And when I read it again, I laughed more. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. If not, . . . WHATEVER! It's funny!

I don't like Halloween. I never really have. Even as a kid I found it very hard to decide on what to be. And I always opted for a run-of-the-mill cowboy or pirate. And even these simple costumes annoyed me by the end of the night: an eye patch became a sweaty burden; make-up dried on my skin; some garment inevitably made it difficult to walk. This list goes on. And then there were the two years, 9 years apart, where I thought I'd had it figured out.

1977 saw me cultivating a true love of KISS. And for Halloween I thought I'd go as Peter Criss, the drummer, whose character was a cat (for those of you not in the know, KISS wore full-face stage make-up and lots of leather during the 1970s). Of course, I didn't have leather, or real boots back in 1977, but I did have long hair and my mom's make-up. So, with Mom's help, I donned a dark shirt, a denim jacket, blue jeans, and her boots with the tops adorned in tin foil. And, of course, the make-up. And off I went to the Ella B. Allen elementary school Halloween party.

There was, of course, a costume contest, and all the kids got in a line and traipsed across the stage a couple of times. The judges then announced the five finalists: "The Princess, The Dragon, The Butterfly, Puss-in-Boots, and Sir Walter Raleigh. You are the five finalists. Please stay up on the stage." So, I lost. No big deal. I turned and started to walk off stage. "Where are you going?! You're one of the finalists!" "No I'm not," I said. "Yes! Puss-in-Boots!" My face turned a little bit red, I hung my head a little and muttered something like "I'm not Puss-in-Boots."

"He's in KISS!" said a mystery voice from the audience. "Oh, I'm sorry! Oh well, you still need to get back on the stage." So there I was, demoralized, embarrassed, emasculated even (there's irony in that one). I ended up losing, of course. But that right there convinced me that Halloween costumes were for chumps.

I LOVE to laugh!

Wicked Good!

For my birthday, Gene got tickets to Wicked, the musical at the Pantages theatre in Los Angeles. My friends, Jeanne-Marie and Nick, kept the girls overnight for us. We had a wicked good time!

Here is the synopsis of the play:

Long before Dorothy drops in, two other girls meet in the Land of Oz. One, born with emerald green skin, is smart, fiery and misunderstood. The other is beautiful, ambitious and very popular. Wicked follows these two unlikely friends and college roomates grow into very different women: The Wicked Witch of the West and Glinda the Good Witch.

This was one of the best musicals EVER! Creative, funny, unbelievable singing talent--it has it all. I highly recommend that if you ever get a chance to see it, GO!

My friend, Amy, gave me the soundtrack, and I love it, too!

All in all, a really good birthday this year!

My Beautiful Leah

Leah is definitely growing up. She has been asking to get her eyebrows shaped lately. Let's just say she has Brooke Shields eyebrows. So, I finally took her to a salon and let her get her eyebrows waxed. She didn't realize they were going to wax them and she was very nervous. At first, she said she didn't want to do it. She thought they were just going to pluck them. The kind Korean lady explained that plucking each hair one by one would hurt much worse. Leah finally agreed to let her do it.

She held my hand tight as the woman prepared to pull the first cloth off. Once it was off, Leah said, "I'm so stupid! I should have believed you! My friend said it hurt really bad!"

Afterwards, she felt beautiful. And she was. Of course, she was beautiful before, too.

TGIF - Halloween is Over!

This week's TGIF is that I'm glad that Halloween is over! You'd never know that I really HATE Halloween by the way we STILL help the girls dress up and we STILL take them somewhere to Trick-or-Treat. Every year I say that we're not going to celebrate Halloween--no costumes, no trick-or-treating, no candy. But, somehow, every year, the girls conveniently "forget" that I ever said that, and they start talking excitedly about what they are going to dress up as and where they want to go (we usually go to a local church for "Trunk-or-Treat" because it's so convenient and quick). And I just never have the heart to follow through on my feeble threats. In fact, this year, Krista had TWO costumes! One for school, and one for Trick-or-Treating. Arrrrrrrrgh!!! We did the same thing with Ashley and Ryan. We're so pathetic. Anyway, here are some photos of the day.

Krista's school costume

Leah as "Maid Marian"

Krista and Leah getting ready to go Trick-or-Treating