Decisions, Decisions!

You'd think that, at almost 50, I'd know what I want to do with my life. But that, unfortunately, is not the case. Each time that I find myself "between jobs," I go through the whole, "what should I do now?" thing. Since I don't have a college degree in ANYTHING, I don't really look good on paper, so I've had to rely on friends and former co-workers to get jobs. And I've been pretty lucky through the years. I've had some great jobs, and I've been given wonderful opportunities to learn new skills. I've skipped around in various fields, making me the jack of all trades, and master of none, really. So, when I was laid off in March, during very difficult economic times for the country and for my family, it was time (again) to start thinking about what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.

If I were about 20 years younger, I think I'd go back to school and be an interior designer. I am one of those people who watches HOURS and HOURS of HGTV design shows.

I also watch all of the real estate shows, and I've often thought that I'd enjoy being a real estate agent. But that's such a huge risk, and you guys all know that I'm excruciatingly shy, which doesn't make for a great salesperson. But I can't get this particular idea out of my mind. However, bills are piling up, and I feel like I need a "sure thing"--a salary. I'm not sure I can take the risk--can I?

Although I'm a pretty good project manager, and am administratively and organizationally gifted, I'm really not very creative. And, I've definitely NOT kept up with the changes in multimedia technology, so I don't think it makes sense to pursue graphic design or art direction.

I DEFINITELY don't want to be a Director of Children's Ministry again--EVER (although it was probably the best job I've ever had).

Without a degree in Educational Technology, it's difficult to be taken seriously as an Instructional Designer unless someone I have worked with in the past recommends me. But apparently I'm pretty good at this, and I think I have natural ability in this area. So, I decided to take some online classes and go through San Diego State University's Educational Technology Certificate Program. I took the first two classes over the summer. Doing this while working on a contract for IVID (my former employer), was VERY difficult, but I managed to eek out two A's.

Once the two classes were done, I had to make a decision whether to shell out another large sum of money to take the next one. I had already committed a significant amount of money (and time) taking the other two, so I felt like I should continue.

But that nagging thought of being a real estate agent kept popping up. Going this route would mean shelling out more money to go in yet another direction. Gene and I had many conversations about the decision. But Gene doesn't really give advice, he just lets me know that he will support any decision I make, and that he isn't worried that I will fail. He and my sister, Kathi, have always been my own personal cheerleaders in life, making me feel like I could do almost anything. I'm very blessed that way.

So, what to do, what to do?

I decided to just go for it. What the heck? I'm almost 50, for cryin' out loud. If I'm ever going to do what I want to do, now's the time. If I let it pass by this time, I'll probably never pursue it. And there will always be that nagging "what if" feeling.

Right?

OK, so I shelled out the cost of the required real estate classes and excitedly set about getting them done as quickly as possible, with the plan of hopefully getting my license by the end of the year. In the meantime, I've hooked up with an old high school friend who works for Keller Williams Realty, and I've been learning all I can so that I'll be able to hit the ground walking when I do get my license.

Of course, when you're on Unemployment, you have to be applying for a job. So, I have been applying for jobs here and there, and I have my resume posted on Monster.com. But I haven't had any real serious hits from any employers. Until last week when I got an e-mail from someone at an employment agency who saw my resume on Monster.com and thought I might be interested in a job with a defense contractor here in San Diego. Sure, I told him. If it's a good fit (I mean, we have to eat, right?). He asked me to send some samples of my work and told me I should be hearing back from them by the end of the day (that was on Monday).

I sent some samples, and didn't hear anything back from him by the end of the week, so I pretty much gave up on that. I had done my due diligence that was required of me from the Employment Development Department, so I felt good about it. But when I didn't hear anything, I got back into the whole pursuit of the real estate license again, feeling like it was a sign from God that I should just give up on being an instructional designer once and for all.

And then, yesterday, out of the blue, the guy called me again. Said his client was interested in interviewing me, and that I should be hearing from them soon to set up an interview. Gahhhh!!!

We do need the money. Being on Unemployment for almost 7 months has definitely taken a toll on our piddly savings. And, I can't turn down a job if it is offered (without losing my unemployment benefits). So, I'm basically "on hold" while I wait to find out if they truly do want to interview me. And if they do, I'll have to go and see what the job is all about. Then, if they do offer me the job, I'll have to take it. And, the truth is that the thought of having a salary again is a bit enticing.

But, maybe they won't offer me the job. I mean, I have no experience in the field of Naval training. They are looking for someone with technical writing experience, which really isn't my area of expertise.

So, I wait.

To be continued. . .