Sunday, April 1, 2012
Dear Carla,
Oh how I missed you today! It was a beautiful day for a wedding. The bride was beaming and gorgeous. I tried to soak it in for you. The minute I woke up, my mind registered the fact that this was the day your beautiful Stacey would be getting married. I couldn’t help but think about how happy you would have been. . . how much fun you would have had helping her get ready for her special day, after months of planning. You would have probably helped her make her wedding dress, although she actually did just fine on her own (she’s so much like you). In the end, she wasn’t quite happy with the dress she’d made, so she bought one after all. It was absolutely stunning. After managing to hold it in all day, I lost it the moment I saw her in the dress. I couldn’t help it! She was breathtaking. And all I could think of was how proud you would have been of her—not only because of her outward beauty, but because of who she has become inside, too.
She’s wonderful, Carla. And although you died when she was only 17, it’s clear that you had a tremendous influence on her. She’s sweet, funny, giving, smart, emotional (wonder where she got that?) . . . I could go on and on.
On days like this one, I miss you so much. I can’t tell you the number of times something has happened and I have thought, “Oh, I’ve got to tell Carla about this. She will crack up!” or “I’m going to call Carla and share what happened. She’ll understand.” Of course I quickly realize that I can’t, and the frustration of that fact stings every time. But today, your absence was felt even more. It’s been the case on all of the special days you’ve missed—James’, Scott’s, and Anna’s weddings, Westley’s birth.
Throughout the reception, I kept getting caught off guard. Simple, little things would just touch me, and I’d get choked up all over again. Like the bride and groom’s first dance, the father-daughter dance, Adam dancing with Stacey, Anna and Kelby’s maid of honor speeches. Stacey looked so happy. You would have loved it.
But you weren’t there.
And I missed you.
Wednesday, April 04, 2012
Dear Carla
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
She would have loved it. It hurts to understand how much she has missed and it's so hard to not have her there for those moments. I'm glad you put this in your blog even if it was sad.
I love you <3
Just getting caught up on the blog roll...I love this post. And even though I wasn't there all I kept thinking was, "Man, I wish Carla could be there for this."
But then I also was thinking how beautifully close you all are and that somehow it would be enough...not because that's what "should be" but because it has to be. You all love each other so well and that was a gift Carla left with you (and everyone else who knew her!).
Wow, Carly, that was really sweet! I think it's very true, too. Thank you <3
thank you for sharing this, aunt debby :) love you!
I never saw this!! Thanks for making me cry in my coffee ;-).
While Adam and I are blessed with the fact that she was at our wedding and met our kids (though she couldn't really see Ben), we still talk often about how cool it would be to have her visit us, and how much she would love hanging with the kids and watching them grow. Adam wishes he could just call her and ask for parenting advice or ask how he was at a certain age or just tell a funny story...we all miss her so much. Ashlyn has quite a sense of loss, I think. I've found a couple notes over the last couple years she has written to God about missing her and wishing she could hear her and see her in real life, etc.
Xo.
Wow. I never saw this either, happened upon it by chance (I'm not a blog-reader). This is how I feel often, and I think you captured it well. And I agree about Stacey and her wedding. It had Mom written all over it.
Geez! I never saw this. Aunt Debby this was SO sweet. I miss her all the time. Sometimes I want to ask her all kinds of advice- especially about Kelby! I loved my wedding, but mom was definitely the major missing piece for me. Thank you for reposting this. I am so glad I got to read it. :) I love you. Xoxoxo
Post a Comment