It's about 9:15 p.m., and Krista was supposed to be in bed 45 minutes ago; Leah 15 minutes ago. Instead, I hear stomping, slamming doors, screaming, and evil laughter coming from upstairs. "Get in bed!" I yell from downstairs, but the ruckus continues--increasing in intensity by the minute.
"Stop hitting me!"
"I hate you!"
"You're a stupid idiot!"
"Shut up!"
"I'm going to kick your butt if you don't stop hitting me!"
Argghhhh! What's a mother to do? Raising kids today is much tougher than it was even 15 years ago (which was tough enough!). Today's kids are far more exposed to inappropraite language, sexually explicit material, and violent content than I was when I was a kid, or even than my two older kids were. The internet has opened up a whole new set of issues that parents have to address, and there are fewer and fewer "family" shows on TV these days.
I remember fondly, when she was 3 years old, Leah was in the family room watching Ever After with Drew Barrymore. I walked through the room carrying a load of laundry out to the garage, and I heard a man on the TV say, "sh!&." I stopped and leaned back into the room with a surprised look on my face. Leah immediately tried to put my mind at ease, saying, "He didn't say, 'shut up,' he said, 'sh!&'" Hilarious. Even after living with us only a couple of months, she knew that "shut up" was not a nice things to say. But, she had no idea that "sh!&" was a bad word.
But what should we, as Christian parents, do when our kids say things that are unkind or inappropriate? I try to choose my battles carefully; otherwise, I would be fighting with Leah and Krista every single day, and that's not how I want them to remember their childhood. But at the same time, I want them to learn to be kind, generous, and loving. So, where is the line when it comes to teaching appropriate language (or reprimanding inappropriate language)? What should I do when Krista's teacher calls to tell us that Krista was kicked out of "Study Island" at school for saying she wanted to kick someone's a$$ in the chat room? I mean, that's over the line, right?
Growing up, we were not allowed to say, "butt" or "fart," but we could say, "shut up," "stupid," and "I hate you!" with no consequences (that I can remember, anyway--my siblings may remember it differently). And I still try to teach my kids not to use any of the above-mentioned words. But there are much bigger issues to worry about, and I find that I let more and more of that kind of thing go. It's just not worth it to me. But I don't know if it's wise to let go, or if I'm just being lazy. I guess time will tell. My hope is that Leah and Krista will still grow up to be kind, loving, Godly young women one day (in spite of how they treat each other now). My hope is boosted by the fact that Ashley and Ryan turned out pretty good, and they were just as mean to each other when they were young.
And so, we pray . . .
Speaking of kids using inappropriate language, check out this hilarious video.
2 comments:
we were way meaner...
My opinion is that it's important to teach them how to speak respectfully to each other and to others. You're right, there are far larger issues at hand, but my belief is that if you tackle the basics it will spill over into other things.
you can't keep an eye on them all the time, and they will probably get into some things that they shouldn't, but remember, if they think the bad but not horrible things are horrible, then the horrible things will seem unthinkable.
it's got to be so hard to find that balance between discipline that teaches and discipline that makes a child want to completely rebel.
i like that you type "sh!&", but when we read it, we're still going to read the real word. way to go mom, poisoning my mind.
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